


Will You Be My Partner in Crime?

by LadyRiot94



Series: The JARVIS Holiday Experience [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Minor Character(s), Shounen-ai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-04-02 03:06:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4043446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyRiot94/pseuds/LadyRiot94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"My proposition to you is: I'm all alone, you're all alone, so why not be alone..... together?”<br/>There was a pregnant pause as he considered her statement. Finally after a while of contemplating,<br/>“Alright, Miss Lewis, I have decided that I will help you tomorrow morning to help you to, quote: 'stop this lovesick travesty'.”<br/>She quickly jumped up and down quietly cheering, then proceeded to hug his monitor screen.<br/>“Thank you so much, Jarvis. You won't regret this.”<br/>“Dear motherboard, what have I gotten myself into?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Will You Be My Partner in Crime?

**Author's Note:**

> Title was almost: Single's Awareness Day  
> Disclaimer: Don't own anything.  
> Warning: This is another Holiday Fanfic with my latest shipping Heimdall/Jarvis! I think I may call them WatchTower or Sentinel (meh! I'll figure it out later). Yes that means that this Yaoi; that does imply male on male (but, it's more like shounen-ai).  
> Author's Note: Because it was Valentine's Day—I was single, bitter and thought this would be good idea.

“Single's Awareness Day. As usual, the busier holidays rolled around and left in the blink of an eye. Today was almost just like the rest of them.  
The only difference being, this is not the day that people would go out, get drunk and randomly hook up with a stranger. At least not more than usual.  
No – this was the day for romancing and pulling out all the stops to ensure that couples got down to the most romantic, sensual, vertical tango they have ever experienced.  
So, on this day of pitiful grovelling, I wanted to know if you were willing to stop this lovesick travesty with me?”

It was 12 o'clock in the morning and all throughout the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. Darcy, on the other hand, was in the Avengers tower, sitting in Tony Stark's office, pleading her case to his.... computer.

*Sigh* **“Miss Lewis, it is only Valentine's Day. I fail to see why you hate this day so much, why not Christmas?”** Jarvis countered.

“Because at least I get presents and I feel appreciated on Christmas. But this... this is the time of the year to show someone how much you _love_ them with over stuffed animals, overly priced jewelry and liquor and drugstore chocolates,  on purpose  – and not because it was a mandatory secret Santa and you just happened to have pulled someone's name out of a stupid hat.”

“ **Still mad about Ian, I see.”**

One could practically hear him rolling his nonexistent eyeballs.

She growled at his comment.

“You know what, screw Ian. He missed out. So now, my proposition to you is: I'm all alone, you're all alone, so why not be alone..... together?”

There was a pregnant pause as he considered her statement. Finally after a while of contemplating,

“ **Alright, Miss Lewis, I have decided that I will help you tomorrow morning to help you** **to , quote: _'_ _top this lovesick travesty'_ _._ ” **

She quickly jumped up and down quietly cheering, then proceeded to hug his monitor screen.

“Thank you so much, Jarvis. You won't regret this.”

“ **Yes well,** **I've heard that before. Allow me to prep my body for tomorrow's promising outlook and adventure. Besides, Tony was banned from drinking any alcohol since he threw yet another one of his _'Because I can'_ parties, last week.” **

“WHAT!? Why wasn't I invited?” She questioned angrily.

“ **You were, but you thought that he was trying to get back at you for bedazzling the iron suit and pouring glitter all over his clothes.”** Jarvis replied back.

“Oh yeah, oh well. See you in the morning for _O_ _peration: Kill Cupid_.”

She giggled as she bounded out the door and back towards her room.

“ **Dear motherboard, what have I gotten myself into?”**

Jarvis questioned himself only to receive a series of beeps from Dum-E, saying 'I don't know'. Sighing once again, he checked on the downloading status.

*********

Come early morning, Darcy ran into Tony's workshop as fast as she could. She was so busy thinking of the final points of her plan that she didn't pay attention to where she was going and ran into a solid object.

“Ow, who put that wall there? That's some poor designing, Starky.”

She mumbled to herself before looking at what she ran into, or more like who. She looked up to see amber eyes staring back at her.

“Forgive me, Lady Darcy, I did not mean to stand in your way.” Darcy continued to stare dumbly as she grabbed hold of the hand that was offered.

“Heimdall?! What are you doing here?”

“Prince Thor thought that it would be a good idea for me to participate in another one of your midgardian holiday traditions.” He gave her a kind smile.

“Are any of the others here as well?”

“I'm afraid not. Might I ask, why are you in such a rush this morning?”

“I made some plans today and plan to keep them. So, where's Thor?”

She quickly looked around them to make sure he wasn't trying to sneak up on her.

“He is with sir Stark now, informing him of my arrival.”

Before she could anything more, there was a hissing noise of compressed air escaping from the corner of the lab. Looking over, they saw smoke leaving what looked like a giant steel locker and out stepped an extremely nude Jarvis.

He quickly managed to turn his head when he heard a low whistle coming from the direction of the workshop doors.

“Damn Jarvis, I would have never realized that you like to sleep Aunaturel.”

Before any more could be said, Tony roared from inside his office.

“He's where? Oh HELL NO!”

Tony was rushing out of his office with Thor right behind him, quickly walking to where Heimdall and Darcy were standing.

He was wearing a t-shirt with far too many mystery stains, ripped jeans and his head was a complete mess. All signs pointing to him sleeping in his office again.

He immediately walked up to Heimdall and shoved a finger in his face.

“You listen to me buddy, there is no way I – hey!?” He was cut of when he felt hands pushing him past Heimdall and Darcy, and towards the elevators.

“Come now sir, Miss Potts will be mad if she found out you were pulling another all-nighter in the office and is still unprepared for the day.” Jarvis chided his master.

Tony tried several times to free himself, but Jarvis' grip was too strong for him.

“Come along sir, into the shower with you.”

“That doesn't sound right coming from you when you're naked. And as for you, _Guardian_ , don't think for one minute I forgot about Thanksgiving.” Tony threw over his shoulder. He continued to protest even as he entered the elevators going towards his suite.

The three of them stared dumbly after them, even after they left from sight.

“Was there something I did wrong during my last visit, Prince Thor.” Heimdall turned towards Thor, who was now standing next to him.

“I haven't the faintest clue.” He confessed, looking as confused as him. Only Darcy was trying to hold in her laughter.

A few minutes later, Jarvis emerged from the elevator wearing a navy polo shirt, dark washed jeans and black sneakers.

“Tony will be down soon, until then, let me make you breakfast.” He happily replied as he passed the three of them and headed out of the workshop.

*********

“So Jarvis, when did you start sleeping naked?”

Darcy asked as Jarvis stood at the stove multitasking between pancakes, eggs, bacon, toast and muffins. Thor and Heimdall were sitting at the dinning room table, patiently waiting and conversing with one another as the other Avengers sleepily shuffled in and joined them.

“I figured since I rarely use this body there was no point in constantly keeping it clothed. What's the first phase of your plan?”

He briefly took his eyes off his task to see Darcy peeking out of the kitchen door.

“I'll tell you after everyone is sitting at the table, then we can begin.”

Within minutes, everything was brought out on large plates for everyone to grab however much they wanted.

As all this was happening, Heimdall decided to spark a conversation up with the android.

“Jarvis, my friend, I was hoping to start another round of our game from last time.”

“I am terribly sorry, sir Heimdall, but I am currently helping Miss Lewis with something at the moment. Perhaps we can continue later at the party tonight, as I don't know when we will be done.”

“Very well, until tonight.” He sounded dejected, but complied nonetheless.

“Help with what?” Tony questioned.

“Nothing sir.”

Jarvis walked around to pluck a glass of scotch out of Tony's hand and replace it with orange juice before going back into the kitchen with Darcy following behind him.

“Okay, phase one of _O_ _peration: Kill Cupi_ _d;_ _L_ _ooking the_ _P_ _art_. You need to get into Tasha and Clint's rooms for this to work. I managed to order everything ahead of time. All that you'll need is in Jane's lab, but first take this.”

She reached into her pants pocket and pulled out tiny earpieces, placing one in her ear and the other in his.

“What about the rest?” He questioned with a hint of worry tinging his voice as he adjusted the listening device.

“Tony is no fun since he'll be sober all day; Thor is too gullible and would only put it off as a friendly _“silly midgardian tradition”_ ; Jane and Pepper will be too wrapped up in their work to notice anything – as for Bruce, we'll have to tread carefully with him. But everyone else is fair game.”

Once they were set, Darcy made it back to the table and Jarvis excused himself to take care of something somewhere else. Never noticing the eyes that followed him.

Inside Jane's lab he spotted two large, cardboard boxes with a letter on top of them.

_**'Jarvis,** _

**If you are reading this, then that means that you have chosen to help me in my crusade against humanity. If this is not Jarvis, then please put this letter down and back away slowly—and don't even think about opening these awesomely, mysterious boxes of mystery.  
** Anyway, your mission, should you choose to – who am I kidding, of course you already accepted it – is to replace all of Tasha and Clint's clothes with the ones in the boxes.  
Once complete, come find me for phase two.

 **Love,  
** Your partner-in-crime,  
Darcy'

He decided to take a small peek into one of the _''m_ _ysterious boxes of mystery_ _'_ just to know what he was dealing with.

What he saw inside almost made him regret what he was about to do – almost.

Taking one last look down the hallway, he noted that the coast was clear. He stacked the boxes on top of each other and proceeded to walk towards the elevator to get to the resident floors.

“....Jarvis?”

The voice was enough to make him pause and take a step back. Peering around the boxes, he spotted the one person he wasn't expecting to bump into.

“Hello sir Heimdall, what brings you around here?”

“I saw you leave and wondered if everything was okay.”

“Ah yes, as you should recall, I do not really eat and am in the middle of some tasks.”

Heimdall eyed the boxes warily and tried to offer some support.

“Would you require some help?”

“Actually, would you like to join me? I'm afraid this task is rather time consuming.”

“Of course, I will keep you company.” Heimdall took the top box and followed Jarvis to the elevator.

20 minutes later......

Darcy excused herself from the table and a riveting (NOT!) conversation between Jane and Bruce and went into the kitchen.

“Psyche* to Boy Toy, come in.” She spoke into her earpiece. A second later she received a reply.

“ _Brilliant code names, Miss Lewis. What's the matter?”_ Jarvis' voice sounded clear in her head.

“Clint and Natasha are almost done and are about to leave. How far have you gotten?”

“ _Me and sir Heimdall have already finished agent Barton's room, and are now halfway through agent_ _Romanoff_ _'s room. Please, jus-”_ He was cut off when Darcy nearly shouted over him before remembering to stay quiet.

“Heimdall is with you right now—as in now, now....?”

“ _Yes, he agreed to help me. Now please help me by stalling them for another ten minutes, or so. Boy Toy out.”_

The line went quiet as he ended the connection, leaving her to think of a way to stall without looking so suspicious.

She snapped her fingers once she found an idea.

Going back to rejoin the group. She sat next to a sulking Tony and purposely spoke loud enough for everyone to hear her.

“So Tony, tell me..... I know you like to prove to everyone that you are a superb genius, but when building Jarvis a body why did you spend so much time to give him an anatomically correct penis that he's never going to use?”

All conversation stopped at the table, the only sound was the Steve choking on his juice from hearing her statement. Clint and Natasha were about to get up and leave, but after hearing that, they sat back down and stared at Tony, waiting for him to spill.

“I've been meaning to question you on that same subject, too, Tony.” Bruce quipped from the other end of the table.

That just bought them another thirty minutes. Tony was now stammering to try to explain himself.

************

“Jarvis do you mind telling me what all this is about.”

At that moment they had just finished their task and were now walking back to the elevator to go back to the social floor.

“Miss Lewis has been feeling down lately, due to the fact that she doesn't have a boyfriend for this day.” He sighed for what felt like the millionth time.

“And what is so special about this day in particular?”

“Valentine's Day is suppose to be a day of showing the person, or people in some cases, how much you care for and love them. It's a way to properly express your true feelings. But for Miss Lewis, because she has no one to love her, she is doing to a series of pranks to enjoy this day.”

Heimdall absorbed in all that he was told and thought about it for a minute.

“What about you? Are you not celebrating?”

“I have nary the one valentine to call my own. In the words of Miss Lewis, _'I'm all alone, you're all alone, so let's be alone.... together.'_ ”

“And how does one become a valentine?”

“Some people simply give gifts or tokens of their love such as: sweets, stuffed animals, flowers, jewelry, cards, or something that means something to you and make a request.”

He mulled this over for a while before stepping in front of Jarvis and facing him.

“Thank you, my friend. Please excuse me, I now have much that I must do today. I must find Prince Thor.”

He smiled widely and hugged him before walking off without waiting for a response, leaving a baffled android.

“Oh, umm..... bye?” He said quietly after Heimdall was out of sight.

**********

Jarvis regrouped with Darcy on the couch of the living room, or as Tony likes to call it ' _Entertainment Central'_.

“So?” She asked rather impatiently.

“Mission accomplished.” Was his only reply as he tried to figure out what happened between him and Heimdall earlier. He was broken out of his thoughts when Clint's enraged shouts came from down the hall.

“WHAT. THE. HELL!?”

He stepped into the commons area dressed in bright green tights, a white blouse and a brown leather vest.

Darcy was the first to burst out laughing at his new appearance.

“Go on, Cary Elwes. Go find your Maid Marian.”

“This isn't funny, Lewis. Someone just stole all of my clothes and replaced them with.... this.” He made a vague gesture towards his attire.

“And what the hell is this....” He reached behind his back and produced a white plastic arrow with a red heart tip.

“I believe that that is called an arrow. You know, those archaic things that you use on a daily basis.” Tony spoke slowly as if speaking to a child.

“Shut it Tony, I swear if you were the one who did this, you're gonna wish you didn't even think of this.” He angrily pointed the arrow in Tony's direction.

“Calm yourself, Merry band of Gay Tights. I'm too sober to even think of doing anything to anyone. Besides, are you forgetting that I was with you earlier this morning?”

“I swear if you did do this.... if you think I'm mad, you don't want to be on the opposing end of Tasha's wrath.”

“What happened to Agent Romanoff? And what happened to you?” Steve questioned as he gawked at Clint's new choice of attire as he entered the room.

“Someone – probably Tony – played a prank on me and replaced all of my clothes.”

He leveled a glowering glare at Steve.

“Speaking of pranks, have any of you seen my shield? I can't seem to find it anywhere.”

As Steve looked around the room and under the tables Jarvis heard Darcy chuckling next to him. He turned a raised eyebrow to her, which only made her snort in return.

“Phase two of _Operation: Kill Cupid_ is in Tony's workshop of the tower where Dum-E is suppose to meet you, along with Captain Ice-pop's shield. I call it 'Making a Declaration'.”

She waved her hands around as if she was presenting the title of a famous play while staring into space.

“I also took the liberty to provide you with the design I want you to display and..... Are you listening to me?”

She looked back at Jarvis to see him looking around the room while trying to inconspicuous.

“What are you doing?”

“Have you seen Heimdall anywhere? He asked me to explain to what Valentine's Day was about, then just vanished on me.”

“Oh...... he left with Thor about a couple of minutes ago.”

“Going?” He asked her expectantly.

“It doesn't matter..... now as for the plan, you need to start now if you want to be finished by the time the party starts. Besides, Heimdall said he would play another game with you tonight, so there's nothing to worry about.” She picked him up from the couch and ushered him towards the elevators. “Now off with you.”

Up in Tony's workshop, Dum-E greeted Jarvis as soon as he walked into the lab with a slip of paper in his claw.

Jarvis walked up to him and grabbed the note from his claw and began to read it out loud.

_**'Jarvis,** _

_**This time Dum-E is here to assist you one this mission. And don't go getting cold feet on me now, the rest of the plan will be during the party tonight. Right now, you will be following step-by-step instructions on how to properly make a statement. If you do this now Ice-sickle’s shield should be done by the time the party starts. Remember to follow the directions exactly as they are written.** _

**Good luck!  
** Your partner-in-crime,  
Darcy'

He flipped to the next page to see the set instructions and shook his head in disbelief. Looking around the ground he spotted the cans of paint and picked one up to inspect it.

“At least it's easily removable with water. Come along Dum-E, let's get this over with, because I have other things to do today and you're doing to help me with one of them.”

 **'I'm in!'** He chirped.

* * *

 Throughout the rest of the day Jarvis ran around setting up decorations, cooking the food and making calls to remind people of the party. Luckily for him it was at the tower. He was stopped a couple of times by Steve asking if he had seen his shield or by Tasha and Clint asking if he could find or order some clothes for them; all of which he either declined or said he was too busy for.

In between decorating he also helped Darcy pull a few more pranks such a locking Jane in her lab with red and pink strobe lights while they had romantic music playing in the background. They also managed to get Bruce - luckily for him and them it was a light prank; all they did was fill up his lab with hearts-shaped balloons and have several chocolate covered strawberries and flowers delivered to him anonymously.

By the time eight o'clock hit, the party was in full swing with all of the guests either dancing, eating, standing by the walls, drinking till they passed out, or trying to see if they'll get lucky tonight.

The entire guest list comprised of a full random assortment of people.

The Fantastic Four were there with Reed engaged in conversation with Jane and Bruce while Susan tried to get his attention to dance. Johnny was trying to score a date with anything with legs and a pulse; regardless of if it was electrical or not. That's right that includes Jarvis, who was acting as a server. Peter Parker was by the wall talking to Steve and Ben while occasionally dodging Deadpool's advances; who was not invited by the way.

Tony was conversing with Scott and Logan about their favorite model of cars and bikes, as well as the best cigar brand. Jean and Pepper were looking on discussing how their men never pay enough attention to them – to which Susan soon joined them. There were many other heroes and some civilians mingling with the crowd.

Even Fury and Maria managed to make along with some other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents.

Clint and Natasha eventually came out of their rooms to celebrate – to their surprise no one seemed to mind their clothing choice.

* * *

 Sometime later in the night Thor and Heimdall showed up. Thor and Jane retreated to a corner to suck face for the rest of the night. Heimdall on the other hand, stood by the wall as he watched Jarvis danced around the bodies – having ditched the platter tray a long time ago – with Darcy. He watched as they went up to some people to talk and felt his eye twitch whenever someone got too handsy or he saw Jarvis purposely dance and grind up against another other than Darcy.

“Hey Jarvis,” Darcy breathed into his ear as they were dancing with each other, “it's time to get Steve's shield for him.” Without a word he left her side to retrieve his latest work of art.

After a couple of minutes he returned and they both walked up to The Captain.

“Mr. Rogers, I believe I have fond your shield. It was actually in the conference room on one of the lower levels.” He spoke smoothly as he presented said object upside down.

“Thanks, I wonder what it was doing there.”

“Who knows.” Darcy said with a slight bit of mirth in her tone.

They watched the expression on Steve's face as he turned to shield over and saw the new design. Nothing much had changed except the star was now a heart, the blue part was now pink and the white part was now bedazzled with hearts, roses and baby cupids.

“Really Darcy!?” Steve asked, amazed at her foolish behavior while other snickered when they sight of his new design.

“How do you know it was me?”

“You bedazzled the iron suit not even three weeks ago. I bet you're even the reason for agent Barton and agent Romanoff's wardrobe change. And you probably roped poor Jarvis into your little scheme. I'm going to tell them.”

As he made a move to go around them a hand on his chest stopped him. “I don't suggest you do that, Mr Rogers.” Jarvis stated.

“And why not?”

“I know that Pepper doesn't know about the _'Because I can'_ after-party that Tony threw last week.” Darcy countered.

“That has what to do with me?”

“I also happen to know that a certain patriotic clad, boy-scout was also there playing _Pin the Tail on the Donkey_ and what was those other ones…......? Oh that's right, S _even Minutes in Heaven_ and _Twister_ (a lot of things can happen at a Tony Stark Party) with a certain fellow blonde haired, lady agent; and I'm pretty sure it's against company policy to mix business with pleasure with fellow agents. Maybe Fury and Hill would love to hear about this – or better yet, _see_ what happened.” She pinned him with a malicious smile as she rubbed her hands together, evil villain style.

His face twisted into a glare once he recovered from his shock. “You wouldn't.”

“Try me. You show your hand and I'll play mine.” She said as she mimicked his same look and crossed her arms over her chest, then added as an afterthought, “Oh and Parker,” she saw him trying to slink away, “I'm sure Pepper and your aunt would love to hear of a certain web-slinging hero that was also there doing some underage drinking.”

“Ugh, come on, I'm only one year away from being able to legally.” He pouted.

“You're still one year too young, young man.” Jarvis countered.

Afterwords Darcy walked away to mix and mingle with others, feeling triumphant, as Jarvis stayed behind.

“Mr. Rogers, would you be willing to help me with something?”

“What's in it for me?” He eyed the android with suspicion.

“The _B.I.C._ after-party footage will never see the light of day; and Fury and Hill will never hear about it without your permission.”

“I'm in.” He gave a dejected sigh as he scrubbed his face.

“Great! Meet me in the workshop.” He clapped his hands together in delight, then added, “And bring your shield.” Confused eyes followed the happy android as he disappeared within the crowd of writhing bodies.

* * *

 Heimdall eventually caught up to Jarvis as he walked away from talking with Johnny, that may or may not not have had him seeing red. Catching him by the arm, he spoke in hushed tones, “Jarvis, may I speak to you in private?”

“Not right now, I'm a little preoccupied at the moment with something.” He spoke quickly as his eyes darted about as if looking for someone. “If you'll excuse me, I have pressing matters to attend to.” He then pried away from Heimdall's grasp and headed towards the elevators in a hurry.

Winding down close to the midnight hour, Jarvis was seen darting in and out of the party, dragging with him another guest. Darcy had gotten so suspicious of him that she went to stand next to Heimdall to get him to find out – to her luck he wouldn't tell her a thing. Her suspicion rose exponentially when she saw him pry Thor off of Jane and lead him away; only to return shortly afterwords with a somewhat blushing Thor.

Tilting her head, she tried to hear over the music, but only caught snippets of their conversation.

“Never before have I experienced.....”

“That tends to happen to newbies when....”

“Indeed, I am adapt at many things, but never....”

“We could always do it again, later on.....”

“Perhaps without so many others......”

She didn't know what they were talking about, but her mind went into a dark – more sexual – corner of her brain. She finally lost her patience when she saw reemerge with a bouquet of roses, and large heart-shaped box of chocolates and a fat stack of what she assumed were valentine cards inside an envelope.

“I thought you told me you didn't have any valentines.” She ran up to him and seethed at his gifts. Someone had stopped the music and all eyes were on her as she shouted.

“You said that, Lady Darcy. And technically I don't; at least not yet.” He interjected.

“Meaning?” She was tapping her foot, waiting for him explain himself.

“These, Lady Darcy,” he lifted the gifts towards her, “are for you. Will you be my valentine?”

He had a sweet smile on his face and looked expectantly at her shocked one as he unloaded his burden onto her.

Darcy continued to stare in amazement as she looked between the gifts and Jarvis as if trying to determine if this was real or a part of a prank.

Without her noticing, Tony had stood next to her and grabbed the fat envelope and dumped the contents into his hand. “And what do we have here? Ho ho, damn. These are the best pornographic photo-op slash sexy valentine's cards I have ever seen.”

Logan stood by him as he was flipping through them and put in his opinion. “Hey Stark, you could probably make a fortune turning these into calenders for single ladies.”

at hearing this everyone crowded around them to see what they were talking about; Darcy, of course, snapped out of her stupor to join in and gasped and blushed at what she saw. Around her some of the girls were either copying her same action or squealing, while some of the men grumbled at the womenfolk’s reaction or joined them.

The first picture she saw was a picture of Steve, shirtless with his cowl on and his new deck out shield covering his privates with the captions _'Don't worry, I always carry protection'._ The next one showed Thor lounging on a sofa, also naked with his hammer covering his manhood saying, ' _Yes, my hammer is a hammer'._

They continue on with Deadpool giving a poem:

 _Roses are red,_  
Violets are blue,  
Chimichangas are sweet,  
And I bet you are too.

Clint held up an arrow poised saying: ' _Arrows aren't the only thing that I'll pierce you with tonight._ '

Bruce was in a lab coat with several beakers around him, saying: 'Between me and you, I feel a chemistry.'

Stark was surprised to see himself but did complain, even with the caption; ' _You make my arc reactor skip a beat_.'

Even Parker showed up hanging upside down saying: ' _You've got me trapped in your web of Love!'_

These continued until Tony stopped at one of Jarvis standing in front of the camera with his shirt open, one hand in his hair and a chocolate kiss in between his teeth, with a caption saying: ' _You turn my software into hardware, valentine!'_

“Happy Valentine's Day, Darcy.” She heard him say from behind her. At the sound of his voice she turned around and hugged him with tears in her eyes.

* * *

 The rest of the night wound down and people started leaving around two with dates or one night stands. Darcy had dragged Jarvis and Heimdall with her down the residential floors; she told them she had one last mission for the night and refused to tell what it was, only that it required the two of them.

Bringing them to an empty apartment, she told them that it was in the bedroom. Walking into the room together they didn't see anything and were about to turn around and voice their complaints when they were pushed from behind and heard the doors lock shut. They heard Darcy on the other side laughing and say, “Last mission of _Operation: Kill Cupid_ ; _Get Boy Toy some play_. Psyche out!” They listened as her foot steps grew silent the further she got until they disappeared and that's when they realized that she wasn't coming back.

Heimdall tried to knock the door down, but to no avail. “Just give up,” He heard Jarvis say from the bed, “Master Stark designed these doors to be 'god-proof' after he got fed up with prince Thor constantly smashing them to pieces every time him entered or exited a room. Plus it cost less than having to constantly have them replaced.”

Giving up, he sat against the headboard beside Jarvis, heaving a sigh.

“What can we do, then?”

“We could play a game.” At his suggestion he received a dejected look. “Or you could finally have that talk you wanted to have with me, because I'm 99.995% sure that Darcy will not come for us until after sunrise.”

he sighed again and thought about his options before an idea popped into his head. “Alright, let us continue our game of _'I Spy'_.

“I am okay with that; of course you remember the rules and since you suggested it first, you get to go first.”

Jarvis apparently missed the sly look that crossed his features as he began.

“I spy with my little eye, something that is pink and soft.”

“pink and soft....” Jarvis muttered to himself as he tried to find what Heimdall had described. “Is it in the city or further out?” He asked.

“It is very much within the city, in fact, it is in the very tower.” He laughed to himself as he saw the pensive look that Jarvis held.

“You're not looking at one of the ladies' undergarments, are you?” Jarvis gave him a side glance as he continued to look.

This time Heimdall busted out laughing at that question. “No, I guarantee you that I would never use my sight for something so petty. Give up?”

“Yes. What is it?”

Before his could say anything else he felt Heimdall's hand under his chin and guided his head to turn around until he felt lips touch and move against his. Unconsciously he moved against the other pair until he felt them leave and he was left staring into amber orbs. He only broke contact when he felt something sliding onto his right ring finger. Lifting his hand up to eye level, his eyes grew at the sight of the gold ring with a Celtic knot design running around it.

“I know that it is the day after, and I am unquestionably late, but I wanted to give this to you no matter what; so, will you be my valentine, Jarvis?”

The only answer he got in return was Jarvis blushing madly as his pupils continued to dilate and steam came out of his ears. Afterwords his head fell into his Heimdall's lap and covered his face with his hands, shaking his head in disbelief.

“I'll take that as a 'yes',” He chuckled as he began petting Jarvis' head. “That ring was a part of my armor; since you said that gifts usually include something that is personal to one's self.”

The rest of the night was spent in silence.

* * *

 Morning came and everything was right with the world as Heimdall left for Asgard and Jarvis was in the kitchen cooking breakfast for the other, as usual.

He didn't notice when Darcy had joined him and was inspecting the new bling on his finger.

“So Jarvis, where did you get this latest addition from?” She questioned with a knowing smile.

“It was a part of sir Heimdall's armor. He gave it to me last night.” He answered absentmindedly.

“Is that all?” She looked a bit disappointed.

“No,” He shook his head as he continued to scramble eggs. “We also kissed – it was brief.”

“Oh my god, ohmygod, OMG! This is some serious news, I gotta tell Jane and Tasha.” She made a move towards the door until she felt an arm around her waist and one around her mouth with Jarvis pressed flush against her back as he spoke into her ear.

“You will do no such thing, this will stay between you, me, the floorboards and the cameras that I control. You will utter not a word to anybody unless you want Tony to know of that sex dream you had of him.”

Her eyes widened at the threat and set into a glare before announcing, “He ego is already through the roof with him finding out.” All she received in return was a shrug before he returned to his task at hand.

“So how the mission, really?” She asked, changing the subject, which he happily obliged.

“ _Operation: Kill Cupid_ was a huge success and I applaud you on your strategic planning and cunning wiles.” He gave her a soft smile as he went into the dining room.

**Author's Note:**

> * Psyche (Sigh-key) was the name of the woman from Greek Mythology who cupid fell in love, who his mother (Aphrodite) sent out to kill, with and betrayed him. Eventually they got married and lived a happy life.  
> WORD COUNT: 5795 (NEW RECORD)  
> Next time: Easter hunting


End file.
